Nuttcase...

Messed up.... Nor for sure... Broke my heart first, changed my world for second... I want what I cannot get, I have what I don't want to.... There are no guarantees, there is no certainty, there are no rules... All I could think of that there is - the readiness to give up one or the other thing. I am apparently ready to give up one... now am. In the future - it doesn't depend only on me...
(Evil laughter)
Not being judgmental is not happening. You are yourself. We are. And I am going to be. It's all about what we are ready to give up and feel good about it... Sexual is connected to feelings and other way around, whatever you, people say - u will see it eventually. Idealism is dieing - realism is taking place. Can I have pills for greediness? Please, give me more and more and...
"Punishing in return for carelessness and realization of true values..?" - living to live. I never did that while with you... you may be right on that one... I will check it out... maybe... Ready for auditions? the bar is high... too high sometimes...
Ehhh... So right and so wrong... the theories dont work - it is all about personal decisions and I am making them everyday now, weighing the cost, benefit and love (the general feeling of not giving a living damn about the sacrifices)
Don't get me wrong - it's just a pile of trashy thoughts comming out of a drunk, confused, heartbroken mind and if someone doesn't like it - fuck off or stay - up to you...
Will try my best to live the way I should have, but am not sure that will manage anything...
confused even more,
Little Prince, who has entered ausilium...