Wake up...

Slowly opening the eyes, I look out from underneath the black sheets. The plan kinda worked - all that rum last night in the end transformed into a thousand hammers knocking on my skull right now and I do feel a little bit better.
I cannot imagine to which kind of thoughts my mind rose last night... I have been accepting like I am a god's son, have been falling deep in the trap of dignity and destroyed self-consciousness, but what even more surprises me, no matter how I was supposed to be changed - I was not. I stood there, drinking my big cup, people trying to dance close to me, but I was far away. Too far away to say hello on time sometimes...
There is a memory of mine, which often comes to my mind now - it is about a boy and a girl breaking up and them "being friends" for a while. That memory relates to an earlier stage of my life, when things were different, but I remember that for a boy it all came down to one thing. If you destroyed something - you have to build it again, he had to conquer everything from the beginning... Funny how life turns out... People give up so easy...
Day 1, who the fuck knows, what's gonna happen... need to clean up the dark red puke in the bathroom before the cleaners started bitching...